i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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