tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
