HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
