Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
