why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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