So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
