My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
