you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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