the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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