dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
