this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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