I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
