out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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