i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize