If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
