I CAN MOONWALK!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
