I wish I could punch you in the face.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
