it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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