I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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