3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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