do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
