drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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