they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
