I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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