Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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