Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
