There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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