Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
