You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
