i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
