I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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