im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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