all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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