I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize