Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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