miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
