he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
