The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
