I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Blood and glitter go together right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
