Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
