he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
