I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
