mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
