I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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