I want to walk on stilts...naked
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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