Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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