your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize