i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
