This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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