"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
