I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
