Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this boner is exhausting
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
