I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
