Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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