We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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