Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize