Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We named our party play list daddy issues
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
